Merry Christmas or Merry Disaster?
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: Burn the ham? Check. Force Durbe into a sneezing frenzy? Check. Humiliate Misael? Ongoing. A Christmas fic for ShadowSoundAppend. (Rated K plus because of Misael.)


**Merry Christmas or Merry Disaster?**

**Humor**

**Seven Barian Lords**

**Ruin the ham? Check. Force Durbe into a sneezing frenzy? Check. Humiliate Misael? Ongoing. A Christmas fic for ShadowSoundAppend.**

**(Don't own Zexal. Just own Sirius. Oh. And Tachyon.)**

* * *

Merry Christmas or Merry Disaster?

* * *

"And what's the special that the director is doing for us this year?" Misael asked, assisting Alit in decorating a tree in the apartment that Durbe and Misael were sharing. Why Durbe had decided to do their Christmas party in their tiny apartment, he'd never know. Not only were most of the Barian Emperors coming, Sirius, Durbe's twin brother, was coming too. That equaled close to no space for people to move around in.

Ah, well. At least Yuma and his friends were having their Christmas party somewhere else. Misael didn't have to worry about cleaning up after the Klutz Brigade.

All Durbe had to worry about was cleaning up after the Prank Master.

Alit looked over to Misael. "The director said something about a Holiday Duel," he said. "With lots of mistletoe." A light bulb appeared over his head. "Hey. Maybe you'll get lucky and happen to be under one with Droite."

Misael's face adopted a red tint. "Don't be ridiculous," he said. He quickly put up a star-shaped ornament.

"You never know with Christmas," Alit said in a sing-song tone.

Misael looked at Alit with a scowl on his face. Then he got back to his work.

After putting up a few more ornaments, he got down from the barstool he'd been standing on (It's a miracle he didn't fall off.) and looked at the tree. It was skimpy on one side, but then again, Misael was never the best when it came to decorating. In fact, one time, Vector had told him that if he had to choose between an earthquake and Misael's decorating, he'd choose the earthquake. Needless to say, nobody, not even those who lightly chuckled, got away without something to remind them of that day. In Durbe's case, he had to wear contact lenses until his glasses were repaired.

Naturally, after taking some anger management classes, Misael never wanted to even SPEAK about that incident again. And Durbe couldn't have agreed more. He thought his nose was broken for a few minutes there.

"Well, what do you think?" Misael asked.

Alit looked at the tree and drawled out a long, "Eeeeeeh," kind of sound. "Well," he finally said. "How do I put this?"

He was choosing his words very carefully as he was one of the people unlucky enough to get on his bad side once before. "It kinda looks like...Kotori's hair."

"Her hair?" Misael asked.

"Yeah," Alit said. He refused to get into more detail. "Maybe we can put it in the corner and the bare - ah, I mean, the skimpy side – will be hidden so people can't see it."

Misael was barely able to control his temper there, seeing as how he got the hidden meaning behind Alit's words. Fortunately, after taking a veeeery deep breath, he agreed to it. Alit was very quick to shove the tree into the corner, hoping that Misael wouldn't notice how fast he was moving.

That failed.

Misael's glare alone was enough to say that.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, pulling Misael away from the living room and towards the door. He opened it up, only to be greeted with water to the face.

Very, veeeery, ice cold water.

In winter, no less.

Alit wanted to laugh, but Misael looked ready to murder the first person who so much as squeaked.

Vector, however – who happened to be the one who fired the water at Misael's face – was too busy suppressing his laughter to even begin to notice his facial expressions. "Water suits you," he choked.

"Oh, that's right," Misael thought angrily. "He's coming too. I forgot about him."

"So, may I come in?" Vector asked, still choking on his laughter.

Misael didn't want to let him in. He preferred to let him freeze outside. But Durbe had made it clear that any and all Barian Emperors were allowed inside.

What a day.

"Fine," Misael grouched. "Come on in."

He stepped to the side and reluctantly allowed Vector inside. With a smile, Vector placed his squirt gun in his holster, (Which surprised them both.) and walked inside. "So, when's the party?" Vector asked.

"When the ham is done and Durbe arrives with Sirius, Rio, and Ryoga," Misael said. "So how about you sit down and relax until they get here?"

"I think I'll take a look around," Vector said. "Don't worry. I'm not going into your room and mess with your cat again."

"My cat is with my folks," Misael said. "Durbe insisted, since he might get loose during the Christmas party, and quite frankly, I STILL haven't forgiven you for that time you shaved all his fur off and called him a 'giant rat.'"

"It was April Fool's Day!" Vector half-whined.

"That doesn't justify anything," Misael said, his hands on his hips.

"Okay, okay," went Vector. "I'm very sorry. Here. This is a present for Tachyon."

He held out a box of cat treats. Misael didn't need to check 'em to know that they were holding a prank. Firstly, the box had been opened and Vector had no pets to feed. (Unless you count the snake that prowls in his garden, just waiting to snap at somebody.) Secondly, Misael could still see the fuse for the explosive poking out from one of the corners. And finally, the box had "Cat Treats" on the front, written in crayon.

In Vector's handwriting, no less.

"No thanks," Misael growled. "I'd rather have my cat live to see a ripe old age."

"You're no fun," Vector said, putting the 'cat treats' on the counter. Misael felt for the person who would be stupid enough to open that box.

Then Misael simply watched as Vector did as he had told them and looked around.

"Is it a good idea to let him wander like that?" Alit asked.

"Durbe said he'd clean up after Vector's pranks," Misael said. "Besides, I doubt even Vector can do anything **too **destructive in this apartment. Durbe's made sure of it."

How wrong he was.

* * *

Durbe, Rio, and Ryoga arrived at the apartment about an hour later.

Durbe opened the door and looked into the hallway. "Misael, we're here," he called.

They all stepped inside just as Misael came out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel through his blond hair, mumbling something under his breath. Durbe could only assume that it was foul language. Not that he was especially eager to translate it. "Misael," he called, gaining the blondy's attention fairly quickly. "Has Vector arrived?"

"Yeah, he did," Misael growled. "And you might wanna stay out of my room for the rest of the day. He brought a 'friend' with him."

Durbe raised an eyebrow. "A 'friend?'" he asked.

"Nevermind," Misael sighed, pulling the towel away from his hair. "So where's your annoying twin?"

"If you're talking about Sirius, he said he was going to run a little late," Durbe sighed. "His train was delayed."

"I see," Misael said.

Rio quickly walked forward and sniffed. "I smell something," she said.

Misael nearly turned bright red until Ryoga added, "It smells like something's burning."

Durbe sniffed. "Yeah, I smell it too," he said. Then it hit him. He rushed into the kitchen, where the ham was cooking, and opened the oven door.

No, the ham wasn't cooking.

It was **burning.**

"What the – how on Barian World did this happen?!" Durbe exclaimed, coughing from the rising smoke.

"Why am I smelling a fire?!" Alit exclaimed, running into the kitchen to see what was going on. Then he chuckled. "Oh, dear. Vector again?"

"More than likely," Durbe coughed. "Everybody, out of the kitchen. Now."

They didn't offer much in argument, other than the usual, "What a pain," or, "Mo!" Misael could only sigh in irritation.

Then they heard Durbe start sneezing.

Rio turned to the kitchen. "Durbe-kun?" she called. "Are you okay?"

To answer, Durbe came out of the kitchen, a familiar purple cat in his arms. "Tell me," he began, sneezing up a fit, "what is he (Atchoo) doing here?"

Misael could only groan. "That was the little 'friend' that Vector brought with him," he explained. "I thought I locked him in my room."

Misael took the cat from Durbe, just as the latter let out another sneeze. "You might want to lock him in again," Durbe suggested. "Sirius is worse than I am. (ATCHOO)"

"Yeah," Misael agreed, making his way to his bedroom. Then he proceeded to place Tachyon in his cat bed.

Then he made a mental note to kill Vector later.

* * *

"Durbe-kun, are you okay?" Rio asked.

"I'll be fine," Durbe mumbled.

"What on Barian World happened in here?" a voice asked. "Smells like somebody burned the Christmas tree."

Everybody turned to face the owner.

Sirius, who was busy coughing up a lung. "Whoa!" he exclaimed. "What the heck? What is that smell?"

"The ham," Durbe said nasally.

"Sorry, Durbe-nii, but I doubt burned ham smells like sweet flowers."

"Sweet flowers?" Rio asked.

At that time, Misael walked right past Sirius, allowing the latter to catch a better whiff. "Oh, dear," Sirius exclaimed softly. "Vector again?"

"Yep," Misael said. "Where is that guy anyway?"

"I think I saw him in the dining room a little while ago," Alit said.

"Don't worry," Vector cackled. "I'm right here!"

They all turned towards the voice, allowing them to see Vector with a rope in his hand.

"What did you do this time, Vec-" Durbe began.

He got his answer when Vector let the rope go, and Misael was covered in extra sticky flowers.

Then they heard a camera click.

Then everybody, excluding Misael, struggled to suppress their laughter. "Now you act, smell, and **look** girly!" Vector laughed. "Merry Christmas, Misa-chan!"

That totally did it. "VECTOR!" Misael shouted, chasing Vector out the apartment and down the street.

Sirius then walked outside and looked down at the street. "Should we go stop them?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Nah," Ryoga said. "They'll be back before dinner."

"Mmhm," went Rio.

"Yep," Alit agreed.

"Which reminds me," Durbe added, "I have to go order some dinner. The ham is officially out."

"Okay," they all agreed.

True to their word, Misael returned in time for dinner, as did Vector. And let me tell you, Misael may look girly, but he was hardly as weak as his physique would dare imply. You need only look at the large green mark on Vector's cheekbone to understand that.

* * *

**D.T.B: Merry Christmas, everybody!**

**Sirius: I may hate Vector, but I feel kinda bad for him.**

**Vector: Thank you! Here's a Christmas present for you.**

**Sirius: NO, thank you!**

**D.T.B: Please review. :)**


End file.
